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I’m absolutely amazed at myself. I almost lost everything on this site! Everything! Over a years worth of my mind, nearly lost to the depths of the interwebs. Thankfully after a little bit of pondering, I managed to recover the entire site.

I’ll be posting something reader worthy VERY soon! I promise!

As would only be expected living a life like mine, the damage to the engine of my vehicle is at an irreparable point. The only option I have is to swap the motor. After much thinking, I’ve decided that essentially, it isn’t worth the time or money that will be spent to make it drivable again. As most of you are aware, I’ve been heavily playing with the thought of moving back to Texas…
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To live the life of a nomad, you know no home. You have no base, and you constantly move around. These days, being a nomad is as it was years ago. Except now we’ve got cars, planes, and trains to help us move around the land in much faster paces. We can haul our things with us, almost effortlessly.
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The easy way isn’t always the right way to go. In fact, doing what is correct for oneself is possibly the hardest thing one can do – especially when investments are made into emotion. Time does not always heal, but can most certainly make an impact on everything and can often provide the gift of revelation.
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Being one who spends a lot of time by myself, I can’t help but think a lot. I ponder my life, my words, my future, my past… I just sit and wonder. I ask myself question after question. At times, only to end up with no answers. I suppose that’s the most frustrating part… Not being able to satisfy my own inquiries…

But that shouldn’t be too surprising – as no one has all the answers, right?
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I’m at a loss for words in how to begin this post. I hope to convey both my love for Lebanon, and my remorse for returning West. Never have I left my homelands with such feelings of grief. This year’s visit had to have been the most difficult of all my visits to the Middle East. I’ve lost a loved one, but have gained new friends. I’ve been able to see the true faces of those I once thought I knew; And gotten to know those I’d never thought I’d have the chance to.
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Not everyone is cut out to run their own business. Granted, it may be a goal most people would like to reach, its just not everyone is meant to do it. I’ve always felt that being an entrepreneur was in my blood.. Passed down through many generations of hard-headed and determined men.

I’ve been in Canada since late October searching for a job that pays a little more than peanuts. Unfortunately, with the economy the way it is, I’ve been shit out of luck in that sense. Recently, after much pondering I had again decided that it would be best for me to look after my own interests, and see where it’ll take me.

I’ve once again started a business. The expenses of simply starting your own company are astronomical. Then you’ve got to factor in marketing, labor and other miscellaneous expenses. Doing it all on my own has proven to be one hell of a challenge.

With what sparkly-eyed recruits I have, and the few customers whom need my service, I’m just not confident in my probability of success. I do suppose that it probably is best for me to not have my expectations set so high, but a man has got to eat!

So with my head held high, and my choices clear – I know what needs to be done. Being a man is some tough business!

I feel almost as if I have been robbed of something. I do not mean in a materialistic sense. Something deeper than that. Spiritual, almost.

I dunno, I’m talkin’ crazy talk here.
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Life hands us some unexpected twists and turns. I’ve always said that “There isn’t anything in this life that will come easy. Nothing is worth nothing. The best things are earned.”

Say you have a problem with your parents.. Say, they aren’t exactly aspiring with you.. You have a genius idea, and they shoot it down. What do you do? You persist and continue as if you have their full support. Do remember, this is your life. You’re the one who is going to have to live out the rest of your days. There isn’t anyone who is going to do your work for you. If you want support, you are first going to have to find it within yourself.

Say you’ve just wrecked your car. Say, you’ve been making payments on this car for the last year. Say you’ve only paid off $1,500 off of the premium and you’ve spent roughly $4,000 on interest.. Have you spent your money wisely? In your feeble attempts to pay off your car, you’ve actually been fattening some bankers pocket. In Islam, it is considered haram to pay or charge interest; And with good reason.

Interest is haram because 1) it takes no effort to earn through interest. 2) You’re being compensated for a service not served and 3) for some people who may never be able to shell out the total sum – it’s daylight robbery. Allah (swt) wants man to earn his living, the way we earn our deen. I do believe that I’ve said before the first condition of Islam is knowledge. So, to be a Muslim you’d have to seek knowledge. Through knowledge you earn your faith. It’s the same with working. Through work, you earn your wage.

I do believe that the most important thing we can earn in our lives is self-respect. It is so painfully obvious when someone does not respect themselves enough to respect those around them. It’s people like that who will never understand the concept of “Treat those the way you’d like to be treated.” As they treat themselves like piles of garbage. One simply need a little bit of religion and a lot of faith to find the self-respect they lack.

I suppose the whole point of this entry is that no matter how bad things may seem – you might only have yourself to blame. If after everything you’re still saying “Ilhamdullilah” or “Praise be to Allah” regardless of your situation, then you’ve accomplished much more than most human beings. Know always that your failures are spawned from your own insecurities – and your accomplishments from your own pride.

*image found at 6towns.com