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As would only be expected living a life like mine, the damage to the engine of my vehicle is at an irreparable point. The only option I have is to swap the motor. After much thinking, I’ve decided that essentially, it isn’t worth the time or money that will be spent to make it drivable again. As most of you are aware, I’ve been heavily playing with the thought of moving back to Texas…
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At the very least, you can expect that people will almost always surprise you. I do not mean that everyone you encounter will. What I mean is that some of those you meet may do so at any moment, given the opportunity arises. They may shock you in a positive way, or they may do so negatively. That’s all part of the surprise…
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The easy way isn’t always the right way to go. In fact, doing what is correct for oneself is possibly the hardest thing one can do – especially when investments are made into emotion. Time does not always heal, but can most certainly make an impact on everything and can often provide the gift of revelation.
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Being one who spends a lot of time by myself, I can’t help but think a lot. I ponder my life, my words, my future, my past… I just sit and wonder. I ask myself question after question. At times, only to end up with no answers. I suppose that’s the most frustrating part… Not being able to satisfy my own inquiries…

But that shouldn’t be too surprising – as no one has all the answers, right?
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I’m at a loss for words in how to begin this post. I hope to convey both my love for Lebanon, and my remorse for returning West. Never have I left my homelands with such feelings of grief. This year’s visit had to have been the most difficult of all my visits to the Middle East. I’ve lost a loved one, but have gained new friends. I’ve been able to see the true faces of those I once thought I knew; And gotten to know those I’d never thought I’d have the chance to.
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I have them because it is easier to keep from being disappointed in regards to just about anything. “Keep ‘em low, and I’ll surprise myself!” I said. Boy, oh boy… Was I surprised! I honestly thought that because of who this girl was and the relationship her family had with mine – it’d all work out peachy.
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As life would have it, obstacles have been firmly planted in my path. Mistakes equal consequences, and it’s time to pay the piper. I just wish I knew that being an adult is going to cost me my leg.

Life goes on.
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Okay – so dig this. Being a Muslim, I can’t really “date.” Technically, I don’t think we’re supposed to even associate with the opposite sex. The reasoning for it makes sense, and it doesn’t really bother me. But it does get me wondering where – and how – I’m supposed to meet anyone.

Don’t get me wrong; I am in no way saying I feel “restricted” or “choked” by my religion. Not at all. It just leaves me in a compelling situation. There are methods, I suppose for arranging a marriage; but my parents have no interest in doing so for me – and frankly, I’m not sure that’s the way I want to go… Though I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. It would be quite simple, really. They’d find a few girls for me to pick from, I find one I like, and boom.

Or, at least that’s how I invison it… Which is what leaves me wondering. I know I’m young, but it isn’t like I’m going to live forever. I know what I’m aspiring for, and how to reach my goals… I just need some support I suppose. Maybe I don’t need anything, or anyone — but that isn’t the way I see it right now. Having plenty of time doesn’t really mean anything when you’re spending it all alone.

Life goes on, and we move forward; Or at least, we try. We strive for success, and long for companionship. You can’t blame me for being human.