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Being one who spends a lot of time by myself, I can’t help but think a lot. I ponder my life, my words, my future, my past… I just sit and wonder. I ask myself question after question. At times, only to end up with no answers. I suppose that’s the most frustrating part… Not being able to satisfy my own inquiries…

But that shouldn’t be too surprising – as no one has all the answers, right?
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I’m at a loss for words in how to begin this post. I hope to convey both my love for Lebanon, and my remorse for returning West. Never have I left my homelands with such feelings of grief. This year’s visit had to have been the most difficult of all my visits to the Middle East. I’ve lost a loved one, but have gained new friends. I’ve been able to see the true faces of those I once thought I knew; And gotten to know those I’d never thought I’d have the chance to.
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MAN! I ran across a blog today written by another Arab.. Although I’d have to say I’m disappointed in her response to her mother’s invitation. Let me clarify my history to everyone. I was born in Lebanon. At 3 months, my family immigrated to the US. I was raised between Ontario, Canada and Houston, Texas. My entire life, I’ve visited Lebanon 3 times: 1992, 1996, and 2004. Each time, my stay was shorter than 3 months.

Anyways; her negative reaction to a blessing prompted me to write this post. 10 Reasons to Go to Lebanon. I can honestly think of more than 10 but for the time being I hope it’s enough to convince anyone of you to at least visit. I know it’s more than enough to show you that there is plenty of culture to be taken in.

10 – The Lebanon Mountain Trail

A journey on the trail will bring the Lebanese, and those of Lebanese descent, closer to our land, to our history, and to each other.

So this morning I get this in my inbox:

Senator Leahy Asks Secretary Rice . . . "Was the agreement violated?"

Below is the transcript of an exchange between Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT) and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice regarding Israel’s use of cluster bombs in Lebanon during the summer 2006 war. The exchange took place at a 9 April 2008 hearing of the Subcommittee of the Senate Appropriations Committee for State, Foreign Operations, and Related Programs, which Sen. Leahy chairs.

Senator Leahy has asked Secretary Rice for the U.S. State Department to release its finding on whether Israel’s use of cluster bombs violated U.S. arms export control laws.

You can support Sen. Leahy’s call by sending a message to your Member of Congress, your Senators, the President, and Secretary Rice using ATFL’s on-line form by clicking on the link below:

http://action.atfl.org/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=6641&track=atflib11

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Transcript: Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT) and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice

SEN. LEAHY: But we’re a great and good nation and sometimes it’s simple things that – incidentally, I wrote and we passed legislation that bans the exporting of cluster munitions that are going to be used by any country against civilian targets and those that don’t have a 99 percent fail-safe rate, which would pretty well preclude most of the cluster munitions being exported from this country. We saw Israel use hundreds of thousands of these bomblets in Lebanon, many supplied by the United States – innocent civilians hurt. I’m not going into question obviously outrageous, unprovoked attacks against Israel, but then as this escalated our cluster munitions badly damaging, killing, maiming Lebanese civilians. So they were used in a manner that violated the export agreement on them. Am I correct in that? Was the agreement violated?

SEC. RICE: Senator, I should probably get an answer to you. I remember that we investigated this matter. We talked to the Israelis about it. But I will need to get back to you on the conclusion. I -

SEN. LEAHY: I understand the department issued a finding. It may have occurred; they’re looking at it further.

SEC. RICE: That’s right. It’s a may have -

SEN. LEAHY: That’s part of the -

SEC. RICE: I don’t know where it is, but I will get to you as to where we are in those discussions.

SEN. LEAHY: Is this one of those things that the “may” is a good way of slipping it into the wastebasket and -

SEC. RICE: I think that -

SEN. LEAHY: – I’ll get back to you, the check’s in the mail?

SEC. RICE: No, we actually continue to have discussions with the Israelis about this, and I know they’ve done a number of internal looks and investigations. I just don’t know where it is, what the status is. So I’ll get back to you about it.

SEN. LEAHY: All right.

- end -

I felt the need to share it with everyone. If not because I’m Lebanese, but because I’m a human. I humbly request that you all send an email to President Bush, Sec. C. Rice, your State’s governor… Demand that Israel release the target data from 2006. Demand that your government NOT USE cluster bombs! Demand that they STOP MAKING them!

Every day little kids get their limbs blown off from one of these things. A child isn’t aware of what to watch out for.. They may think it a rock, or a ball. An object that wouldn’t do them much harm… Only to get too close. Imagine if that were your child. Imagine if this was happening right here in our backyards.. God knows I wouldn’t want any left over bombs from a war that happened almost 2 years ago to blow up in my yard; Near my relatives, siblings and friends.

You could potentially save hundreds of thousands of lives; By only having taken seconds out of your day.

I love my heritage. To me, being Lebanese is so much more than just being Arab. It defines me. Stereotypes exist in all cultures. Unfortunately so, there are those of us who fit perfectly into these stereotypes. Most of us don’t. Most of you know that Lebanon is home to Hezbollah. Some of you think that is reason enough for Israel and America to do to us what they do.

Look at this unfortunate, but beautiful baby Lebanese Muslim boy. One of the recent victims of Israeli air-raids. Honestly, do you believe it right for the West to be doing this? Do you feel that as a Westerner, you are so much more superior that your lives are worth more? That Arab children deserve to die so as they won’t grow up and fight back? Israel is armed heavily with artillery. Palestine is armed heavily with rocks. Hrm, a bullet versus a rock… I wonder which shall do more damage…

I do not condone the actions of suicide bombers; I believe that to be blasphemous. Allah warns us that suicide in any fashion is deemed Haram (a sin.) To kill yourself and believe you are a martyr is a bit of a stretch. Only God knows what the afterlife holds for us. For me to condemn the actions of my Muslim brothers and sisters without prior knowledge of their life stories is also wrong.

You must realize that those who do react violently in the Middle East were raised around violence. Since the founding of Israel there is been much chaos centered around the new Jewish state. We as a nation, know that Israel commits war crimes. But we are too afraid of being “Anti-Semitic” to voice our opinions. I am a Semite. My saying that Israel is in the wrong and should cease and desist all actions against Palestinians can and may be construed as “anti-Semitic.” Fine.

This post is probably the furthest from coherent that I may ever get. My thoughts and feelings seem unorganized and random. I honestly don’t care to be politically correct right now. I see so many “We Support Israel” signs and banners all over the place, that I feel I must say something. Anything.. Even if it means to babble on.

I don’t hate Jews, nor do I hate Israel. I hate what the Zionist Jews in Israel are doing. There’s a huge difference between Zionists and Orthodox Jews. Differences so big that one calls for total annihilation of all Arabs and Muslims – while the other is moving towards true peace. I know not every Jew in Israel is after Muslim blood.. I know that there are many Jews who protest along side Arabs. I also know of many interracial marriages consisting of either a Jewish male and a Palestinian Female, or vise-versa.

We should follow the examples of those living there; protesting for peace. We should stand together and unite against any and all tyrants – as one unit. Muslims and Jews in the Middle East have been peacefully living together a long time in Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and the likes. But until the American influence in the Middle East is exterminated, I don’t think that we’ll ever hear of them having a good day.