boxafella.com/blog

Life.

I’m absolutely amazed at myself. I almost lost everything on this site! Everything! Over a years worth of my mind, nearly lost to the depths of the interwebs. Thankfully after a little bit of pondering, I managed to recover the entire site.

I’ll be posting something reader worthy VERY soon! I promise!

I didn’t even notice this until now, but I’ve got 101 posts, not counting this one! That’s a bit surprising, and I don’t know why.. But it’s nice.

My life has never been an easy one to live. I have seen and done many things in what years I’ve been alive.. Through all the challenges I’ve faced, I can only wish that I’d have come on top every time. I’ve never allowed failure to discourage me completely. I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t discourage me at all, but then it’s only natural to be disappointed.

Instead of allowing those feelings to push me towards quitting, I harness it. I use it to remind myself how I don’t want to feel. I then try again. Persistence, and general stubbornness are just a few of my more flattering characteristics.

With my siblings back from Lebanon, I’ve now a bigger burden to heave. This should be interesting.

As would only be expected living a life like mine, the damage to the engine of my vehicle is at an irreparable point. The only option I have is to swap the motor. After much thinking, I’ve decided that essentially, it isn’t worth the time or money that will be spent to make it drivable again. As most of you are aware, I’ve been heavily playing with the thought of moving back to Texas…
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As fate would have it, my car has broken down.
Oh, how the world turns.
More things for me to take into consideration.
Different decisions to be made.
I suppose I can handle the additional load.
More planning is in order.
I suspect I’m to spend a bit more time in Ottawa.
It doesn’t matter. I’m still pretty happy.

To live the life of a nomad, you know no home. You have no base, and you constantly move around. These days, being a nomad is as it was years ago. Except now we’ve got cars, planes, and trains to help us move around the land in much faster paces. We can haul our things with us, almost effortlessly.
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At the very least, you can expect that people will almost always surprise you. I do not mean that everyone you encounter will. What I mean is that some of those you meet may do so at any moment, given the opportunity arises. They may shock you in a positive way, or they may do so negatively. That’s all part of the surprise…
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The easy way isn’t always the right way to go. In fact, doing what is correct for oneself is possibly the hardest thing one can do – especially when investments are made into emotion. Time does not always heal, but can most certainly make an impact on everything and can often provide the gift of revelation.
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Being one who spends a lot of time by myself, I can’t help but think a lot. I ponder my life, my words, my future, my past… I just sit and wonder. I ask myself question after question. At times, only to end up with no answers. I suppose that’s the most frustrating part… Not being able to satisfy my own inquiries…

But that shouldn’t be too surprising – as no one has all the answers, right?
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I’m at a loss for words in how to begin this post. I hope to convey both my love for Lebanon, and my remorse for returning West. Never have I left my homelands with such feelings of grief. This year’s visit had to have been the most difficult of all my visits to the Middle East. I’ve lost a loved one, but have gained new friends. I’ve been able to see the true faces of those I once thought I knew; And gotten to know those I’d never thought I’d have the chance to.
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